corpo speak

what is corpo speak?

corpo speak is that special dialect where "we're letting you go" means "you're fired," and "excited to announce" means "hr approved this post." it's the language of people who've had their personality surgically removed by a branding committee.

you know it when you see it. the empty buzzwords. the aggressive enthusiasm. the complete absence of anything resembling a human opinion.

examples of corpo speak in the wild

• "we're thrilled to leverage synergies across our ecosystem" (translation: we bought another company)
• "this is a journey, not a destination" (translation: we have no idea when this will be done)
• "we're pivoting to better serve our stakeholders" (translation: the old thing wasn't making money)
• "let's unpack this" (translation: i'm about to explain something obvious for 45 minutes)
• "i'm just going to put a pin in that" (translation: we're never discussing this again)

why corpo speak kills engagement

when every post sounds like it went through 47 approval layers, you get content that says nothing while using a lot of words. the algorithm doesn't reward safe. your audience doesn't remember safe. safe is forgettable, and forgettable doesn't build audiences.

corpo speak is the enemy of connection. nobody ever shared a post because it successfully leveraged cross-functional synergies.

how to detox from corpo speak

1. ban the word "excited" from your vocabulary for 30 days
2. if a sentence could apply to any company, delete it
3. read your post out loud - would a human actually say this to another human?
4. if hr would approve it instantly, rewrite it
5. add one actual opinion to every piece of content